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Essay on #27

I was born 27 years ago today. It’s difficult having a birthday in December. It’s always been plagued with finals, gig playing, everyone leaving town, and Christmas hoo-haas. This year is no different, with a gig rehearsal and work. It would have been much more convenient to have been born on time, which was supposed to be Valentines Day. Okay… maybe a little before or even after then. Do you have a birthday around a holiday? Has that been good for you, or irksome?

I would love to hear your perception on birthdays. Do you usually set up a gathering? or do others do things for you? How do you feel about that? Are birthdays just for kids? I no longer know how to feel about the big ‘B’ day. I have a vision as to what they’re supposed to be like. I love it when others have a good birthday and will do mine to be part of that. I desire for others to have great birthdays. I don’t believe it’s selfish to want to be treated. Birthdays should be most fun for that person and their friends. I have had many good birthdays years past. But to be honest, over the past couple years, I have become cynical. The events of those past and current December has caused me to plug my ears, cover my eyes, and shiver until it all passes. Birthday, Xmas, and New Years. oh, and briefly again at….Vday (shutters at the mere thought)) Why? It’s hard to celebrate anything when there are few or even no one to celebrate with (ouch). Really, this is only thing I’m cynical about, and it’s pretty sore. I’m not going to give excuses for why I feel this way, but if you stood in my shoes you may understand. Being cynical is only an anticipational guard about wanting change and fear of feeling hurt about the perception of what will be truth. What will today bring? I’m unsure.

What has been your most memorable birthday and for what reason? Were there surprises? Have you had a bad birthday? How did you feel about it?

I will leave you with 27 bits from 27 years.

1. Practice gratitude. Say it to yourself, say it to others every chance you can. You will get more of what you like.

2. Get clear on what you want. Dream it, write it down, edit it, practice it.

3. Obliterate your fear. Bill Hicks said so.

4. Negative energy can’t just disappear. It has to be replaced with positive energy. Newton said so.

5. Let it go. It’s a one committed choice.

6. Whatever you resist, is going to keep showing up or hold you back until you address it.

7. You get friends by showing interest in what they do.

8. Allow yourself to be vulnerable at the right time.

9. If you make a mistake, immediately apologize, move on from guilt, and learn whatever lesson has been presented to you.

10. Don’t expect anything from anyone at anytime. That includes yourself.

11. If you don’t follow these all the time, it’s okay. It’s important just to realize it. I don’t follow any of these in the month of December.

12. The answers are in the present moment. They aren’t then, or when. OM

13. I like chocolate cream cake.

14. Okay, I love chocolate cream cake.

15. When I was little I got a Big Bird cake.

16. I don’t have time to make a cake for myself.

17.There’s not going to be any cake this year.

18. In preschool I had my birthday party at McDonalds. I remember there were sugar cookies of McD’s characters on top of the cake. And they were delicious.

19. The point is, to become more of who you really are.

20. I want today to be a party. I expect nothing.

21. I don’t ask for help too often, but when I do, I really mean it.

22. Small things become great when done with Love.

23. This is a great science fiction story.

24. Honesty is more than just not lying. It’s being open when not even asked, and it’s in your actions 24/7.

25. I cook a lot. I’m tired of cooking. I enjoy being cooked for sometimes.

26. Quit fooling around. Seriously. What a waste.

27. All of this will matter on 12.21.12.

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