Using a dating site to find people can still be a little awkward and not a lot of people like to admit they’re on one. However, a lot of relationships and marriages these days are sparked over the internet. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve been on one for about a year now. I believe the site really has provided me more entertainment than it has results. But perhaps those should be stories for another time.
What I have noticed is how people aren’t too good at showing themselves, especially through photos. It’s the first thing people see. I admit, it can be difficult. Not only in advertising yourself, but also portraying yourself as you are and what you want. How you display yourself shows aspects about yourself alone. This one aspect can determine if someone messages or responds back to you. For those who have a hard time showing themselves well, these tips are for you.
This is the first of a three part series. This post covers tips for your profile photos. The next two will be covering your written profile, and then messaging. So here are a few photo and profile hints if you want to take dating sites seriously in finding the right match for you. There’s two parts in finding a match. The first is the physical and mannerism part of attraction. The second we’ll cover later. Here are some photographic tips for those sincere people to improve their profile.
Stay tuned for next week’s tips for profile writing!
#1. Have at least 3 recently taken photos
It’s quite annoying when someone has 5 photos of themselves and they look different in every one. Maybe he’s cute in this one, but this one……eek. So then people get lost as to what you really look like. You want your following photos to confirm what a person saw in the first one, usually what you’ve set your thumbnail to. I think all your photos should be of yourself taken within the past two years and what you currently look like. Show your current style, facial hair, weight, and hair cut. No matter if you think you look the same, you probably don’t. A year will age you and there’s ways that you’re different. Stick with at most 5 photos. More than that will suggest that you’re showing off.
#2. Have a variety of photos
Get some of different angles. Far away, up close. At least one head shot and one full body. You can also include photos of you doing things you like to do. Such as on vacation in casual clothing. One at an event where you’re dressed up. Have some that are candid as well. Also describe your photos with a caption saying where you are, and how old the photo is. If there’s more than one person in the photo, then say which person you are. Sometimes it can be hard to tell! Maybe they think your uglier or cuter friend is you!
#3. Your photos are going to represent yourself
If you have a photo while hiking, then people automatically think you’re outdoorsy. If you have a beer in your hand and have someone of the opposite sex hanging on you, then they’re going to think you’re a partier or player. It’s not bad at all if that’s who you are and that’s what you want to attract. However, never show a photo of you with just one other person that’s the opposite sex, especially if they’re hugging you. What do people think when they see this? Is this your ex that you’re still hooked on? If you love your pets, then show one photo with your pets. If you have kids, then it’s not a bad idea to show yourself with your kids if that’s a big part of your life. Whatever you’re doing in your photo tells people what you like doing, so make it count.
One other thing I’ve noticed is some guys show themselves where they’ve traveled all over the world. Does that mean you’re going to be a globe-trotter your whole life? How does that leave time for dating? It also can be intimidating. Also, maybe some women like this, guys no photos shirtless blatantly showing off. Even if women like guy’s with muscles, that pompousness is probably going to turn them off.
#4. Quality photos
No photos of yourself in the bathroom mirror holding your phone for a dating profile photo. It can quickly put you on the ‘no thanks’ list. It’s also gross if I see all your toiletries and dirty bathroom too. I’ve talked to other people about this and everyone agrees. Make sure your photo has good lighting and shows you well enough. If you’re going to meet someone, then it’s better if they kinda know what you look like. If you do have several good photos showing yourself, then add in a more artistic photo that you really like. This can add interest and show someone more of your personality.
However, if you want to lay low so no one can randomly tell who you are when you’re out and about (especially if you want to hide the fact you’re on the site), then give a vague photo that someone can kind of tell what you look like, but not to the detail.
#5. First impressions
Your thumbnail’s photo should be a shot of you from your waist or chest up. People can get a better idea of what you look like when it’s more at a distance. It’s also just not as attractive when it’s just your face filling up the whole frame.
#6. Get someone to take photos for you
If you don’t have any photos that show yourself well, then get a friend to take some for you. Ask them to take some candid shots while you’re at an event. Have them use a decent camera and take photos when there’s good lighting. Indoor light usually kind of stinks unless someone has a good camera. The best lighting is outside when it’s slightly cloudy or you’re in the shade.