LIFESTYLE & SELF · Relationships · Uncategorized

Dating Site Series Tips: Your Dating Profile

datingprofile

Last week we talked about how to get good photos for your dating site profile. Today we’re going to cover how to write a good profile. I see so many profiles that people didn’t put any thought into at all, but filled it out at the most basic form.  You either want to fill it out well, or don’t fill much at all and put your effort into getting to know someone through your messages and conversations.

While your photo is a good way to draw someone in to view your profile, the beginnings of your profile is going to tell someone a lot within just a few sentences. If they like what they’re reading, they’ll keep on and determine whether to message you or respond to your initial message. Using these few tips will get your profile noticed, and hopefully more of the right people will show up in your search.

Add comments to list your questions, troubles you’re having with your profile, and thoughts.

#1. Don’t just say ‘I like ___’

All the profiles I’ve ever seen is a big list of likes and dislikes. Boring! A lot of the time I think, “They like that???” zap. And most of the time these things aren’t going to show someone’s character and if they’re a match for you. Typically when we meet someone in a social setting, we don’t know what they like or dislike, but we may instantly like who they are. Listing your likes, could push away people that would otherwise really like you.

I recommend only putting down your likes that are dear to you and is something you want to share with someone. If you can’t live without video games then put that down. If you’re a huge gamer, then put down your top 3 games, then call it quits. Get more specific in your messages when you’re getting to know each other. If music is a big part of your life, write a little bit about that and if you want someone to go with concerts with you. List a few genres, but don’t list bands. If you watch some TV, then list your top three genres and write down about your habit like, ‘I just like watching tv when friends are over or while snuggling with my future girlfriend on the couch’.

Listing your likes in your profile is all about how you’re going to relate to the person you want to be with. Make your profile personal. It’s not all about you and every little detail about what you like. Those things aren’t YOU. What you do with it, is YOU.

#2. State what you want and your expectations

You have to be upfront with people and what you want. If you just want a good time, then put that down. When you message people, say that upfront. If you’re just wanting to date and meet people and that’s the limit, say that upfront. If you’re open to possibilities then say that too. If you’re out to meet someone you’d want to be with for a while, then put down that you’re looking for a relationship with the right person who fits you. Communication is key and doesn’t stop after the first few messages, even if you start hanging around this person.

If you don’t know at all what you want or looking for, still be confident in that. State, “I actually don’t know what I’m looking for being on this site, but I am open to meeting people and finding out what that is. I’m sure I will know once I find it. Meanwhile, I am looking forward to whatevercomes by being on this site and with whoever I meet and will always be honest about how I feel.” or you could just not be on the dating site and figure that out before getting on one.

Honesty about who you are and what you want is sexy.

#3. Tell a story

You can tell others what you want or like all day, but they still aren’t really going to know what it’s like to be with you. Maybe this part doesn’t matter if you’re just looking for a good time. But if you’re sincere, then write down in your profile what it’s like to date you. If you just want to date, then write about what a week of dating may look like. Maybe you catch up a couple of times during the week and see each other once. Do you like to hang out one on one with someone over coffee or go see a movie together? Or do you like being social with him/her with people at a bar? If you’re looking for a relationship, then what’s that look like after a two months of dating if you really like them?

Who is this person you are looking for? You’re on a dating website! This isn’t your facebook page. Show your people skills. Describe him/her as you envision by using ‘she is’ or ‘he can’. Can they hold a conversation with you about politics? Must they be able to cook dinner with you?  This is pretty much your dealbreakers (but don’t list them as such) I don’t recommend putting down physical traits in what you’re looking for, because then you’re limiting yourself and showing you’re picky. But if you like to exercise, then say, “I enjoy exercising and keeping fit and would like someone who does the same. I’d enjoy it if we could exercise together.” Tie it back in with your vision. The right person will find it a total turn on and if that’s what they’re looking for too, then it’s all golden. If you just want to meet people and find out what you like, then omit the description. You have to remember too, that often people aren’t interested in the same things, but one introduces whatever to someone, and they become that couples who does ___ together.

When you’re specific you’re more likely to attract someone who’s a better fit for you. Depending on how specific you are, you may get less messages. But you may attract better people for you. If you see that you aren’t getting any messages at all for a few weeks after re-writing, then go back and decide if you’re too detailed.

Being up front with your wants and how you feel is essential at all times. If you do decide to meet and get involved, then the other person will more likely to know what you’re all about. It’s a lot better than wondering and wondering what’s going on and if this person is really digging you, or if they’re just keep seeing you because they can’t tell you they no longer want to see you. Put your cards on the table.

#4. Use good language and make it captivating

Don’t misspell. Don’t use ‘r’ for the word ‘are’ or ‘u’ for ‘you’. Don’t use cliches like, ‘romantic date’. Don’t be overly goofy. Get descriptive and use dynamic words by using a thesaurus. However, don’t go overboard with every word in your profile being special. Another buzz kill is if you aren’t taking the profile seriously. People have messaged me before that I could tell were totally cynical about being on the site. I immediately thought of him as a jerk. Lastly, don’t ever list ‘I don’t know what to say for this section of my profile’. If you don’t, then leave it blank in lieu of being a smartass.

#5. Show who you are

If you’re funny, then don’t say you’re funny. Show that you’re funny by what you say. If you’re witty, show your wit. People are going to pick up a lot about your just by the way you write, fill out your profile, and just by the way you look in your photos more so than your ‘likes’, and ‘wants’.

You can be confident in your profile, but you can also come across as cocky. You show confidence by accepting who you are, what you’re doing in your life, and making it personable to another reader. You come across cocky when your profile is all about ‘me’.

#6. Short and sweet

You don’t want your profile so short that people think you aren’t that interested in being on the site. However, too long, and people will think you like to talk about yourself, picky, or wishy washy. Don’t ramble on and keep it short enough to where people get a sense of who you are and what you want. You want it to be readable and read in under 1 minute. Just like in the amount of time we should spend with those we like, quality over quantity. You want it to be like eating one piece of organic 90% dark chocolate instead of 10 pieces of hersheys.

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One thought on “Dating Site Series Tips: Your Dating Profile

  1. This is super interesting. Great advice – relationships are typically about learning about the other person, but through on-line dating sites we’re kind of forced to concentrate, first and foremost, on presenting a very particular version of ourselves. I like that you maintain the focus on getting to know the people you’re messaging/who are messaging you. Cause that’s the point, right? Which is easy to lose, it seems.

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